Regrets

With this post i honestly have no idea where i am going with it! I need to vent.

Right this very evening i have just performed in front of an examiner for my AS performing arts. Dancing is my supposed strongest skill, i find it easier than acting and i can't sing to save my life!

I entitled this post regrets because that is all i feel now, i honestly think I'm a terrible dancer. I absolutely hate being judged and i always think everyone is judging me. After the performance all i could think was about what the audience must be thinking...
"she can't dance. What is she doing?"

I probably blow it way out of proportion. I perform in front of my classmates regularly and i know what they can be like about judging others. My teacher thought it was brilliant but she always says that when i dance. I don't believe i was terrible. The person i was least worried about was the examiner herself.
I get so paranoid in situations like this and think everyone is judging just me. Eventually i move on, i just wish i could move on straight away!

I'm dropping the performing arts next year so at least i don't have to go through this trauma again. I can now enjoy watching them rather than producing them and being in them!
I have loved (almost) every second of it and I'm glad I chose to study it! In a few years i probably won't regret anything but for now i do.

Do you ever feel like this? I'm sure I'm not the only one...

Amy
xxx